This 35-Year-Old Woman is Full of Gratitude

Yes, its my birthday!

Happy Monday y’all! I am particularly excited about this day because I turn 35 today! Yes, today is my birthday. But before I get into all that birthday talk, how was your weekend? I hope it was fine. Something interesting happened in church yesterday. I am a children’s teacher at church and the children in my class range from 3-5 years. Another reason why I love my church is that we prioritize the children learning about the gospel. Jesus remains at the center of what we teach them.

So, while I stood there yesterday trying my best to explain to three-year-olds, four-year-olds and five-year-olds, that Jesus came to rescue us from sin and also from death, I did not want to use the word “death,” because for some weird reason (in that moment) I felt the word “death” was too harsh a word for their demographic. As such, I began with the word gymnastics – “Jesus came to rescue us from sin, and eternal separation from him…” As I tried to jumble that entire sentence, a four-year-old girl shouted, “and death!”

I was astounded and embarrassed. That moment taught me that even with the little ones, we shouldn’t compromise on the gospel, because they are constantly learning from what we present to them. I was then reminded of this scripture found in Deuteronomy 6:6-7, “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” God is clear on how he wants believers to raise their children. If we water down, or compromise on truth just because they are kids, I believe we will be doing them a disservice.

So, back to the topic of today. I remember dreading turning 35 once I was nearing 33. This was because some things in my life seemed not to be progressing. I kept battling this insecurity I felt because I did not have a well-paying job, or even a job at all; right after my 32nd birthday I quit my corporate job.

The reason for my quitting was the usual cliché – I was unhappy on the job, it was draining, the commute drained me more than the job itself, and I just did not want to continue being under someone’s authority. (Yea, as a millennial, I had some stereotypical GenZ traits in me). That aside, I wouldn’t put 100% of the blame on the organization. But at the time, I had so many fears of “dropping the ball” as my former boss would say, that I’d prefer a work life where there was no ball, no expectation, and as such no need for anyone to be screaming at me.

So, I decided to try the free-lancing world; providing ghost writing services for people, where I would be in complete control and choose the types of projects I’d like to work on. No one told me that to secure a client was half the work itself. If it was a good year, I had two clients. If it was a not-so-good year, I had one client. How was I going to survive this way? And how much did the projects cost? The clients nko? Who expected me to know what was in their heads without articulating it to me.

God knows I did not like being a ghostwriter. I only did that so I could take care of myself, while I worked on writing my books, telling stories, and becoming a bigtime author like Chimamanda (haha) dreams can still come true. That however, was going to take a lot of time.

I remember crying one night – how long would it take for me to be able to stand on my own two feet? I remember making promises to my father that I had no idea how they’d be fulfilled. I had hope in God each year, and when each year came to a close with no significant change (remember my 2020 and 2021 November) I felt like a failure. This same feeling I harbored when I first returned to Nigeria.

One day in September 2017, I sat across the desk from a potential employer who advised me to go back to school and start over because I had already passed the age for entry level jobs. I went back home deflated. I still managed to make it to mid-week service later that day. And the most fascinating thing which happened that evening was when the pastor opened his mouth and the first thing that came out was, “God does not create failures.”

It was as though he had heard what I thought about myself and spoke directly to it. Yet, that didn’t erase my feelings as time went on. Especially when things failed to pan out the way I wanted and when I wanted. As such, I dreaded becoming 35, as the age drew closer. Because somehow in your mid-30s, you should have everything figured out.

However, today, I am incredibly grateful to God for how far he has brought me. Sometimes God takes us on these journeys to prune our desires to make us become more like him, so that we begin to desire what he desires for us. I never for once imagined that my life will take a different turn come August 2023, a few weeks before my birthday.

I know I had dreamt about getting contacted by a client/organization I did some freelancing work for in the past (which I really enjoyed), but never in my greatest imaginations did I think that I would be offered an opportunity one year later, to work full-time with them. (The detail of that story is coming soon).

All of this is to say that God can be trusted. Many of you now know snippets of my story. How I tried for years to get a job in the US, and how I got deported. How I finally accepted that my life wouldn’t look like that of my peers. How I have been broke broke (haha) and so ashamed to turn to my family for help, (because I believed that as an almost 35 year-old woman, I should be able to handle certain things by myself). And how I did not know how (or when) God was going to turn things around.

Truth is, God doesn’t work according to our timelines. The hardships that we sometimes face in life are there to refine, discipline, and conform us into the image of his son, Jesus. And because this aspect of my story has to do with finances, what I don’t intend on doing is selling false hope to people that they will one day become millionaires, or whatever else their hearts may desire. What I hope to do, is let people know that even in those difficult moments (and I’ve had many of them) God is still with you. And God will take care of you.

Hebrews 13:5-6 says, “Keep your life free from the love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”

And God being true to his word: my basic needs were still met. I had food to eat, and clothes to wear. I somehow always had fuel to take me to church on Sundays and back. I was still doing okay, even though my bank accounts were sometimes at a zero, and that was no one’s business but mine. And never for once did I lose hope.

However, my strong desire was found in what Paul said in 1 Thessalonians 4:10-12 after he encouraged believers to keep loving each other: “But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more, and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.”

I’ll leave you with this: no matter what the difficulties you are facing, remember God loves you. And once you grasp this truth, you’d be patient in trouble, knowing that whatever God is taking you through is for your own good. And if you faint not, it would yield the desired outcome he has for your life. I hope this encourages someone today.

So, over to you: What do you think about this article? Kindly reply to this email or leave your thoughts below. If this story resonated with you, it will do so with others. Please do me a favor and share it with your friends. Also encourage to subscribe to this platform.

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