Happy Friday! You might be getting this a little late. My laptop decided to misbehave this morning, so, I apologize on its behalf. Even though it made me type this article on my phone, because I said I must show up for my people who show up for me each week (I really appreciate you all.)
So, today’s post is going to be a light hearted one. I wrote on Wednesday about hell, and I want you guys to finish digesting that one first before we go on with the deep stuff. It’s a really good post -(If you haven’t read it yet, please search for it in the archive, I can’t link it because I am using my phone to write this).
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The first time I ever experienced heart-ache was when I was just about to graduate high-school. Thinking about it now, why was I in a relationship? I knew that the relationship I had with my then-boyfriend was not sustainable—it was not going to survive outside the confines of our school. This is Nigeria we are talking about here; I was not given the permission to date at 14 (shhh don’t tell my parents), plus I was going to move away for a two-year college, so our love ended the very day we said our good-byes on the last day of school.
I was distraught! I cried my eyes out! What was I supposed to do without him? He was not bold enough to call my home phone; neither could I sneak off to go see him. Love as I knew it was over forever, well so I thought. What did I know as a young teenage girl anyway?
Fast forward six years later, this time around I was grown, matured (somewhat) an independent woman, sharing an apartment with my brother, thousands of miles away from our parents.
I could do as I pleased, and that included telling my boyfriend of two-years on my front porch, that I was no longer interested in a relationship with him, the night before his graduation (ouch). He pleaded and pleaded for us to work things out, but I was done, simply because I found someone else!
That break-up was pretty memorable because of all the drama that ensued outside of my house— he tried to gain entry into an apartment where he easily accessed for two years, while my brother prohibited him from doing so. Guy, no hard feelings but my sister doesn’t want you here. Then he hit me with the famous line—you will never find anyone like me. (Well wasn’t that the point? Kidding!) My brother till this day says that he was the best boyfriend that I ever had, but he just had to stick up for me. How sweet!
Hmmm, the next one, I ended it as well. I heard he had been going around town with other women, but come to think of it—the informant who gave me that information, also played a part in my 5th most memorable break-up. Did she have it out for me all those years? I guess you will have to wait for my book to find out.
So, I ended things with him, then regretted it, and begged him to take me back, but he refused! What I did to my other ex had come back to bite me. Then my mother fell gravely ill and I forgot all about what a boyfriend was! Boy-who? Had to be there for mama; my heart could take several seats.
On to memorable Break-up number four! This happened in the UK. Because I revealed sex was off the table, he figured I wasn’t the one for him. In his words—we are not sexually compatible! Mogbe! After I crossed seven seas for you, then you tell me this?!
Ladies and gentlemen, I was put on the next thing smoking back to Manchester, where I cried my eyes out (again) on the two-hour train ride back to my brother’s apartment. My family all wanted to know what had transpired during my time with him, all I wanted to do was sleep my sorrows away!
And the 5th most memorable break-up, the break-ups of all-time, ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! (Haha) This happened just after two-weeks of dating! Yes, guys, you heard that right! Just two weeks! How was I supposed to tell people that the tall, dark and handsome boyfriend I had broadcasted all over the place, had dumped me? Lie lie oh! It was not going to work!
I begged and pleaded and begged and pleaded and he finally accepted! Then we broke up five months after that! Sad right? I guess. (Now, this phone wouldn’t let me link the connecting stories for you to enjoy your weekend with. Oh well, next time.)
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The relationships I have had in the past taught me a lot about myself and men. It also revealed this eternal truth that only God can provide us with true satisfaction (you can listen this song by William Mcdowell- Only You Can Satisfy, which depicts this beautifully).
Like the woman at the well, I was searching for someone (or something) to fill me and I did not know that the person was Jesus. Don’t get me wrong, I still desire a godly relationship that will lead to marriage, however, that deep seated desperation is gone. I am no longer thirsty because I found the one who gave me access to his living water - Jesus.
Do I have any regrets? Well, maybe. I should have focused more on school and my future than dating at the time. Boys were a distraction for me, and quite frankly, not much of the relationships added value to my life, but we live and we learn and get better for it.
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wow! such an intriguing story, one only man can satisfy and that's Jesus, he is definitely the only one my dear. At least we are able to learn from our past..
Ouch @ breakup number 2, but like you said, we live and learn and are all the wiser for it.