How These Strangers Showed Me Kindness During One of My Painful Experiences
Hello guys! This is me checking in to see how your week is going so far. Mine has been a little stressful. Going to a government office is one of the many stressors in life that you wish to avoid, but are unable to. Strikingly, these government offices seem to share similarities globally. Why is this so? For instance, in the US, the trip to the driver's license office was a source of apprehension for many. The enduring queues and the seemingly joyless staff, exuding an air of discontent with their roles, remains fascinating.
I sat in the passport office yesterday for seven hours and still did not accomplish what I went there for. Although if I am being honest, I was entertained most of the time. Nigerians and not listening to instructions are like 5 and 6. (See how I confirmed this stereotype in this short story)
“Don’t stand on the queue until we call your name,” one of the officers said while addressing us. Yet, that went in one ear and exited the other for most people. After a while, I stopped blaming them (if you can’t beat them, you join them abi?). There were many people (like me) who grew hungry, angry and impatient. The babies who were there as well did not help matters as they began to scream when they started calling people’s names. It was as though they did that on purpose so everyone could be frustrated (haha). Then you started hearing things like, “madam pet your pikin now,” “carry him outside.”
To help alleviate the hunger aspect of it, one woman came there to advertise her hot jollof rice and chicken. It was just what we needed on a rainy day. Many swarmed around her to buy the food. It entered my eye oh, but I had to respect myself before something else added to the discomfort I was already battling. When people began voicing their disappointment with the way things were being handled, the staff members pleaded with us to be patient. Their attitude was a far cry from what we would usually experience in such offices. Progress maybe? Who knows. Okay, enough of my mid-week recap, let’s get into today’s topic - kindness.
Kindness (a fruit of the Spirit) is a universal language that transcends cultural boundaries. When you show love to people by doing kind things for them, it reaches deep into their souls and resonates with the very essence of who they are as individuals. Any small act of kindness, such as a smile, holding the door open for a stranger to walk through, or providing assistance to someone in need, counts.
My mother died of cancer nearly 14 years ago, and I miss her dearly. During the last week of her life, I was in the hospital with her not wanting to leave her side for anything. I remember praying for her recovery, and was willing to go to any length to see that she became well. Although she didn’t recover from the terminal disease, there were two instances in which people went out of their way to try to make the situation better, and I will like to share them with you.
It all started with a resident doctor. He came into my mother’s room to examine her condition. After a few minutes, he wore a worried look and then he turned to me and asked if he could pray with me. I was completely taken aback; this was not a common practice you saw in the United States (a nation founded under God), especially in the medical field.
To him (I presume), it didn't matter whether I was a Christian or not. He simply believed that there was a God who could intervene regardless of my religious beliefs. That brought a lot of warmth to my heart. After we finished praying, my heart felt lighter and more at ease. Fast forward a few days later, I was asleep on a chair next to my mother's bed when she suddenly began to toss and turn in her sleep. It was her restlessness that jolted me awake from my sleep. I dashed to her side as soon as I saw her in that state of distress. By then, she had begun ripping everything that was attached to her body. From what was monitoring her blood pressure, to what fed her with oxygen.
In an attempt to calm her down, I ran around her bed trying to stop her from removing them from her body so she wouldn’t harm herself. After a short while, I gave up and stood by her bed completely helpless and exhausted, with tears beginning to stream down my cheeks. Just then a nurse walked into the room. After attending to her, she held me by both shoulders and asked; “Have you eaten today?”
How could I possibly eat when my mother was slowly slipping away? Food was of no value to me at the time. I had lost so much weight that all the pairs of jeans I owned no longer fit me. I resembled those individuals who, having achieved success in a weight loss program, desired to showcase the significant progress they had made. So, they wore their old pair of pants, while holding out one side (that could possibly fit another human) just to show you how much weight they had lost. That was me after one week in the hospital with my mother.
In response to my shrug, the nurse walked out of the room and returned with biscuits. Looking intently at me, she said: “you have to take care of yourself, or you will breakdown too.” Then she stood with me, until I opened the biscuit and began eating. It was in those moments that I realized God had sent those two medical professionals to show me His kindness during one of the most difficult experiences of my life.
Irrespective of my mother’s passing, I continue to think about these people who took the time to care for me, even though I was not their patient. The only thing I can gather is that they recognized my need for comfort and stepped in to provide it in their own way. Their kindness (though it seems little) is something I will forever cherish in my heart.
If they walked past me today I wouldn't know who they are because I have no recollection of what they looked like, save for their gender and race. Nonetheless, I remember what they did for me, and it has served as a constant reminder to always be kind to others, even when I am not in the mood to do so.
One can never truly fathom the struggles others are facing, which is why it's important to extend kindness. This applies even when faced with rudeness or someone cutting you off in traffic; reacting defensively isn't necessary. The individual in question might be dealing with the loss of a loved one or facing an eviction. Thus, being kind remains valuable, even when circumstances don't explicitly demand it. And who knows? Your kindness might just go a long way.
Does this story resonate with you? I’d like to hear back from you. Kindly reply to this email, or leave your comments below. Yesterday, someone left a comment on my Instagram page asking for me to write a piece about the women version of 5 Types of Men to Avoid While Dating. Of course it was a man who took a jab at me (haha). That article will likely be published next week.
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