How Pornography Affects Men, Women, and Children
I was at my cousin's house, where a group of us were spending the evening. While we talked over ice cream, the television played some popular Nigerian songs. There was a time when I looked at the television and was astounded by what I saw. "Is this a music video?" I asked my cousin. "Oh, my goodness!" He laughed at me, unable to comprehend my shock at the casual display of nudity and perversion littered throughout this video.
Pornography is no longer something that is hidden. It can be found on social media and in "regular" movies and music videos. It's as if the world has become desensitized to the fact that pornography is a societal issue. It has infiltrated society, causing all manner of depravity and unimaginable pain. It acts as if it is not harmful. However, like carbon-monoxide, it slowly attaches itself to you, deceiving you that it is a reliable substitute for what God created the original to be. Once you let it have its way - it destabilizes you (and those around you) if immediate intervention is not provided.
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Pornography was many people's first introduction to sex. And, from what I recall, there is no love or concern for the parties involved in most pornographic films. In fact, the films (if they can even be called that) lack a commendable plot—their stories are unimaginably shallow because they have one goal in mind: to incite despicable sexual desires in the viewer.
It's no surprise that most young adults pursue the opposite sex solely for the purpose of having sex. They fail to recognize that marriage is required before having sex. Because the inverse has been depicted in these "movies" over the years.
Pornography has become widely available as a result of the rise of the internet and social media. You now have access to lewd materials and females who believe they can bare almost anything out there for men who crave such content, and for women who believe they must alter their bodies to look a certain way to attract men's attention.
What has recently perplexed me on social media are those influencers who do get ready with me (GRWM) videos. The intent of such videos is for the viewer to watch them as they dress up for an event. Most of these influencers appear in their underwear first, followed by their outfit and make-up. Even those who are not beauty/fashion influencers and are simply attempting to sell clothes online have been found doing the same thing. It made me wonder why women are so quick to expose what is supposed to be sacred. Where did we as a society go wrong?
When you constantly consume such content on social media, you become more desensitized to gruesome content. In fact, to make pornography more acceptable, it has been referred to as "adult" content over the years. Adults should not consume such materials because they are harmful to both adults and children.
Only men are porn addicts
One misconception about pornography is that their audiences are stacked up with men only. According to an article I came across on bellanaija.com - "47% of Christians say they have a problem with pornography in their home, 72% of males visit pornography websites as do 28% of females.” While men are thought to be the primary audience for pornography, women also consume it. I am a woman who was addicted to porn for many years.
As a child, I was exposed to pornography, which resulted in a lot of (hidden) depraved behavior. I hid this sin from my parents as I grew older. I was a slave to my lustful desires, giving in whenever it demanded my attention. Although I wasn't watching porn 24 hours a day, there were times when it was insurmountable. I recall skipping classes in college and spending a lot of money to support this habit. After each click, I would beg God to forgive me and help me get out of this sin, only to be drawn back in about a week later.
It was easier for me to tell people I was fornicating (after all, who doesn't?). But God forbid they find out about my pornographic addiction. I was desperately trying to fill a void, and pornography provided me with a companion. And, like an obsessed lover, it refused to let me go when I tried to break up with it.
It wasn’t until after a terrible break up (which I recounted in my short story series - Twist and Thorns and in this article: I saw my ex’s wedding photos on Instagram) that I began to desire to get things right with God. My new hunger led me to scout for Christians who practiced what they preached. Through listening to them share their experiences, God delivered me from the slavery of pornography - this was in 2015.
I don't have to clear the search history on any of my electronic devices anymore. I don't have to lie to people about why I wasn't answering their calls, I don't have to use my iPad's private mode to hide this sinful desire, and I no longer contribute to the trafficking of children, women, and men for sex slavery. If God can set me free, He can set you free as well.
How can parents ensure their children don’t fall into this trap?
Do you know another demographic of people who suffer due to pornography? It is the children. Children are frequently the easiest victims of sex trafficking. There is a market for those who watch child pornography. Children as young as three years old are raped to satisfy the desires of those with depraved minds because they cannot consent to sex or even know what to do when exposed to it.
When the enemy does not capture children and force them into sex slavery, those who are "free" in their parents' homes become a target for a different kind of attack. If he can't make you a slave to those who are perpetuating so much evil in the world, he wants you to be a slave to sin.
But before I alarm you any further, the enemy has always targeted children. When the Israelites where in Egypt, young boys were targeted from age 0-2. People were losing their male children as a result of the king’s orders to kill young Israelite boys (Exodus 1:22). It was during that time God stepped in to raise Moses to deliver them. During the time of Jesus, children were also slaughtered (Matthew 2 :16-18) because the enemy was seeking to kill Christ, who was also raised for our deliverance.
Even though no leader today calls for the physical annihilation of young children, children are still being targeted. This is why Christian parents should be more deliberate in their parenting. As a parent, you must keep an eye on what your children are watching. You must create barriers for your children when it comes to "child-friendly" content. It's no secret that these beloved entertainment platforms promote anti-biblical ideas through their children's content.
You as a parent shouldn’t indulge sexually explicit content, because no matter how you try to hide it, one day they will come across it. It is not everybody’s home that you will send your children to for sleepovers. During these times, your children's innocence can be stolen or their natural curiosity can be satisfied. More importantly, have age-appropriate conversations with your children. Teach them the Lord's ways.
Deuteronomy 6:7-9 says, “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
When God addressed infidelity in marriage in Malachi chapter two, he also revealed that he desired godly offspring to emerge from the marriage union. This is how seriously God wants Christians to take raising their children in his way. In these times, you cannot afford to be caught sleeping as a Christian. If you are careless with your children, someone else will cater to them for you, and it will not be the church.
How some young women fall into this industry
Pornography, among other things, is modern-day slavery—young girls are routinely trafficked into this industry. It's perplexing how people fight for human rights in cases of sex slavery and prostitution while ignoring the porn industry. Women are scouted through social media, strip clubs, and other means. They are thrown into this industry, where they are subjected to physical, emotional, verbal, and sexual abuse at the hands of their perpetrators.
Predators frequently pose as model scouts and target young girls around the age of 18 (or possibly younger) and lie about getting them a modelling contract. These mostly naïve girls fall into the trap because they want to be the next big thing. Often, "scouts" will ask these young women to come in for a photoshoot in which they will take semi-nude and (or) fully nude pictures that can be used for a modelling gig or to boost their portfolio.
Then the girls are carted off to some remote location with people demanding that they do obscene things. The more obscene they are, the more money they make. And if they refuse, their naked pictures may be released to the public, and their parents may discover that their innocent little girl (or boy) has bared it all for all to see. So, to avoid this, some of them are then forced into this obscure life.
This is what the bible says in 2 Timothy 3:6, “For this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women, loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts.”
According to an article published by the New York Post back in 2018, a porn star by the name of Olivia was the fifth porn star to die within the space of seven months. Industry officials attributed the tragedies to either suicide or drug overdose. So, don't let the theatrics fool you. These "actors" are in pain and need help.
Why you shouldn’t open your doors to pornography
To conclude, one thing you must understand is that lust never gets satisfied. You cannot watch pornography one day and be free the next. It will be difficult to close that door once you have opened it. The high you get from watching a man and a woman have sex one day, fades away the next.
As such, you begin to desire one man and two women; then, one man and three women. Then, you don't even want to see a man anymore, because you can only get that high from watching multiple women having sex at the same time. Who knows what will be next? Perhaps beginning to scout for women you could have sex with — I’ve been there (though God was gracious enough to prevent that from happening despite my desire).
Terry Crews, a Hollywood actor, revealed his struggles with pornography. He implied that it almost ended his 20-year marriage to his wife. He also stated that once this dirty little secret is revealed, it loses its power. When you are brave enough to share with a loved one, saying "hey, I'm struggling" or "hey, I need help," the silent killer loses its power. And who knows, you might be instrumental in freeing another person or fighting for the justice of those who have been harmed by this industry.
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